everyday with my son

Small stories of how it all went along

Archive for the tag “philippines”

House update

The house is doing just fine but not as fast as I would wish. Under normal situation the rough finish or structural is the fastest, it is almost like as fast as blinking. It is the finishing the will bore you to a long wait. But our house being constructed by Novillos Construction of Calamba Laguna is painfully slow. We started officially when we got our building permit in the early weeks of May and now is the first week of August, on its 3rd month, while they promised completion in 4 months, we are still waiting for the structure to be complete.

What I will noticed was there were only a few workers there, there are some occasion were workers were borrowed by their other site and that left our construction with a few ones.  They also don’t  have a cement mixer and instead it is just mix the old way, which of course will add to the delay. Initially, I thought it is just a small house and perhaps they will just fast tracked it in a few weeks but it did not happened. I am now starting to get worried.

Walls, columns, footings, windows and now the Roof trusses are up but electrical, plumbing, masonry has not started and also the 1st floor flooring is nothing but a muddy pile as of today, to see it very slow is a bit painful to watch.

Now there is also another issue, that I am not “in the know”, it is the status of our loan which of course will fund everything. It is being handled now by Mum and I am just told that all is OK. I am now worried to rush Novillos Construction when I don’t know when the funds will be coming.  I am trapped between rushing and having no money (yet).

One other concern I have is not having the expertise to know if all are within building standards. I just have to trust the construction company that they are telling me the truth and they are faithful to their oath as builders, and to just trust a contractor in itself is already a  scary thing and enough to make you go bonkers.

I am still hoping all will be well, and all will be done so that we can all start our life in a place that we can call Our Home.

 

 

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Broken Arm

Every parent’s nightmare was to see their kids get in an accident. And that just happened two days ago. It was scary and very tough for us.

I tried not to be a helicopter parent and let Kenzo and Liam to learn their ways on their own. I had tried to advice them of safety so many times but Kids often side on copying their playmates than listen to what their parents especially when left alone. Kenzo was playing with an 8 yr old, Kenzo is only 6, and of course the older kid would have better balance than him. So what the 2 kids did was climb a small pillar of our neighbor’s gate, at about 4ft in height, and  to jump from there. According to the guardian while on top of the pillar he fell back and fall on his arm that caught all the weight and force. This snap his arm, right above the wrist, in 2 pieces.

When I saw his arm, a little bit deformed and that it was pianful to move it, I knew that is was broken. We went to the hospital at 6pm and after thge xray we went to Asian Hospital at about 9 for the surgery. The put metal pins on his broker arm and cast it. We stayed there for a day and now he is back home and doing his normal stuff as best as he can.

It is hard to balance independence and being over protective. I want them to learn and decide on their own but at the risk of them making bad decisions. Parenting is not really easy and can be nightmare at times. The best thing is still that he is coping quite well on hopefully he will be on his way in a few weeks.

 

 

 

 

 

House buying

Few things I learned about house buying is that, if possible, all should be written or there is an existing trail. It is not enough to get an approval, agreement etc orally because people have weak memory and misunderstanding happens due to speech, tone, grammar, lack of attention span etc.

If you are dealing with a broker, it is still best to know the seller personally, visit his/her house, get his/her contact details because while processing the transfer, building permits, construction agreements and/or paying the taxes you will probably need the assistance of the owners.

One of the thing you need to be sure of before paying is to have all fees in writing that are still unpaid and it should be stated therein that other fees that are not there but are chargeable prior to sale date must be paid by the seller.

Fees like association dues, property tax, surveying, utilities etc must be declared  or  paid.

Normally buyers mainly focus on the TCT, and Real Prop taxes and when all has been paid the buyer can be surprised with other unpaid dues on the property. Of course, you have to call the broker but since brokers are paid already and the sale has been closed, the buyer now has to wait to be prioritized by the broker. After the commission brokers are not too keen on meeting, discussing with you. There demeanor will even change after the sale, before the sale they will call you Sir/Ma’am and will be respectful. on time, helpful, always available etc… but after a sale they can act busy, slow to your requests, tardy…

Same with the seller, they can act similar to the brokers after a sale which is a natural reaction as they dont have anymore incentive to do the extra work. .

Welcome to the wild side

Aunt Ting brought up something to mum the other day and it was about how Liam and Kenzo compares to his friend’s kid, that just sits around and were just making small, slow movements, not even noisy and can stay put in one place for a long time.

I still remember when Kenzo was just about 2 years old and we were in SnR I put him in the grocery cart and beside me is a guy who also did the same to his boy. After just about 5 minutes Kenzo started to protest and demanded to be brought down from the trolley, so naturally I would have to let him down and just follow him as he explore the whole store. While as I walked around, following kenzo I can still see the guy with his kid still on the cart. They walked around, peacefully shopping while I had to deal with Kenzo’s activities.

Laim is a bit tamer than Kenzo but still very hyper compared to other kids. Both of them are really hyper, kinda aggressive, very physical, loud and both are strong willed.

I really don’t  know what makes them like this and in a way I hope them to be milder because taking care of them is getting hard and a bit stressful.

But they are still wonderful (I am biased) and still thankful for having them… I am just hoping them to be less violent.. I still like them though… it is just that they are a bit on the naughty side… hopefully they can swap to the other cuter side for a change.. maybe even just a week, please.

 

 

 

 

 

Real Estate

Later today we will finalize the purchase of the lot of our future home, not really the final step but today will be the day where we can officially say that the lot is ours, the next step will be the finalizing the release of the loan/mortgage.

I really hate the deal with the seller and her brokers but the opportunity to get a lawn is too much to let go. And the only reason why I am still patient in dealing with the seller is because of that tiny piece of Lawn that I really love to have.

I am planning to have a  lawn big enough for us to play football, make a mini putting green, shoot Nerf, play catch baseball etc. the Lawn is like a dream come true, I remember as a kid we played a lot on the bermuda grass spread out in Tio Diony  Talipapa house and those were happy days. Up to know I can still feel how the the grass makes tiny punctures on  my skin, the smell of it in the morning, and how the green color relaxes our eye.

These past few days, I have been day dreaming on what sport to play on our future lawn. I am now looking for putters, Irons and maybe have a small putting green. Surely we will play football and baseball. I am eyeing a mini soccer goal at SNR and some old putters at SOS in Festival Mall. And mere thinking about playing there excites me and yes that is why I am putting up to the spoiled brat of a seller we got.

Nerf shooting games will be a thing to do too, I also saw a trampoline  and a big play house at Landers QC. Right now I am making mental notes on what to put on the lawn and what to do there and I know it will be fun for the little boys.

In Manila very few houses has lawn and only the very rich  will keep an area open to be used as lawns. Because Manila is very densed it is seldom for people to waste a property and kept it idle just to grow grass. I went against the flow and  decided to just  have a small house and use the extra space as lawn for the kiddos to play on.

Lawns are (next to disneyland) are one of the happiest places on earth. When we  visited California one of the unforgettable things me and Kenzo did was play, dive on the grassy lawns of the play grounds and  that is  what I want them experience here when we are not in the US. Surely the lawn will give them a  happy area, a play ground, a place for us adults to make backyard barbies (barbeques) and I know most of our happy memories will be made on top on those nice, green bermuda grass.

 

 

 

 

 

The Punisher

Du30 is nicknamed the punisher and now I am that at home. Lately, I see Kenzo misbehaving badly inside and outside our home. Before it is just his tantrums but now he sees Liam’s tantrums and now copying it. SO, he got a sort of a  combo tantrums for us to bear.

I really do want to go this route of punishing Kenzo but it looks like the western way of talking, reasoning with him like an adult is not really working and now I have to shift gears and try a harder route.

With Liam’s tantrums, we were able to handled it better because of what we learned from Kenzo, we now dont easily give-in to Liam’s demand, phew.

Now Kenzo’s attitude is getting harder for us to handle, it is difficult to handle Liam and will have to now also deal with Kenzo and add some tantrums to the mix, some dangerous physical play and bawling to the side  and we now got a day in hell, almost.

Lately, I ahve been trying a different way to stop Kenzo’s attitude and tries to punish him by staying with me in the room or locking him out of our room. It is kinda tough but what else do I do? I had tried a softer approach for many years but obviously it has not improved our situation. I hate to do this, I just prefer to wish that they both just acted with less fighting and to behave peacefully. But Kids are kids, their world is not like ours and they still have to learn how to deal with their emotions and how to handle themselves in public.

It is now a time for tough love or else I would not be able to succeed in making them, particularly kenzo, disciplined kids.

 

 

 

When a nerd fights back

Liam can look like a sweet boy but underneath is his hard nosed self. There are times when Kenzo will try to get his way, take his toys, overpowering Liam but when push comes to shove Liam has this fight in him that scares us.

Though he has no match to Kenzo’s strength, althletic ability and coyness Liam will stand his ground with his frightful tenacity. When he fights back it can end with  serious pain like throwing a mobile Phone to Kenzo, biting his limbs, hitting with an Ipad, smashing empty baby bottles to his Kuya, it is scary.

He rarely starts a fight, maybe because he his still a baby or maybe he is really a nice boy inside but when he can no longer tolerate then we start to get worried.

Every  parents would want to have behave and cooperating kids but what we have are two competitive ones and both seeking attention mostly at the same time. Really hoping all will be good, perhaps like those siblings they show on TV.

 

 

Sunshine

liam 1

 

Sunny and happy. That is the first thing you will notice in Liam, he is just a happy one. When he woke up and he saw us the first thing he will do is welcome us with a smile as if he was thankful that we were there.

Most of the time when he hugged, you can somehow feel the warmth because on how he lay his head on your shoulder. He has that magical playfulness and sweetness that capture most of the people that sees him..

I know, I am biased to Liam (and Kenzo) but I think he is adorable and people often compliment him/us about how cute he is.

One other good thing about him is how he clean up his  bed (sometimes his toys too ) after using it. It is automatic to him that when he wakes up he will carry the pillows and put them on top of each other. He also has this habit of returning  found stuff to the owner(s). If he sees my phone anywhere when I am not using it or  not being charged he will pick it up and return it. Almost anything that is lying around anywhere he will picked it up and give, may it be books, pens, clippers etc.

But do not be fooled by his cuddly personality because when he gets mad to his brother he really can fight back. During the the time I have to reprimand him, he seems unshaken and unafraid. he has this strength and bravery that hides underneath his cotton-candy like personality.

 

 

 

 

Menopause?

Lately, or the past few months, I noticed mum is at her menopause phase or maybe it is stress from what happened to momsie,  I don’t know but my wild guess it is menopausal.

Usually the house is mixed with occasional rough and scary tumble by the kids, a few mess here and there, a scratch, a loud wail. but when mum is here very seldom do we get peace. A simple chore will have some loud complaints with it, a missing bottle of lotion will be like missing a box of diamonds, an under-cooked cabbage, chicken etc can be like she was served a poison.

But that is not all, she complained of humidity even the weather is relatively cool. Even when the AC is on (though at about 25 degrees) she will complain as if she is being baked in an oven.

Truth is, there are no checklist on how to deal with menopausal women. It is just to be patient and kill yourself if you run out of it. Right now, I find all to be funny but in a few weeks it wont be that funny anymore.

Life is a bit on the tougher side now and it looks like it is about to go worst, good thing I still can laugh all the hate out plus I have a small room I can escape to when things got too loud… so far so good, at least.

 

 

 

 

School ‘baon’ Li and Ken

I have a plan which is not (just like most of my plans) ordinarily done by other parents. I believe it would serve Liam and Kenzo if  their school allowances ( baon) is based on their grades. If you have low grades you will get lower allowance and high grades will get you more.

I know that this plan will best suit them when the time comes to face the real world, where lazy people are not compensated for loitering and daydreaming is not a career. I think it is also an incentive for them to achieve, rather than give them the equal school allowance and  perks whether  they do or not do their school work.

Some will criticize this for setting the plan on material things, but is it not the adult world, which eventually they have to face, works on the same materialistic principles? Is it not  those who label others as materialistic are the ones who are also as greedy as the people they label as such? But anyway that’ll be for another blog post.

Going back, like in real life those who work harder will get more is how the world turns and my plan sit on that thought. I think this plan will serve its purpose not to give incentives ( aka free lunch ) to laziness and it will teach them the value of working harder for stuff they want.

 

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