everyday with my son

Small stories of how it all went along

Archive for the tag “daddy”

Another year

Another year has passed that add another year to this blog. I started this when Kenzo is about a year and a half old and now he is to turn 7 by Oct and now we have Liam along with us.

Currently I am with Kenzo downstairs.  He is eating some snacks and watching Ryan Toy Review on youtube while Liam is upstairs taking a nap.

BTW, today is mum’s birthday and I think there would be some fancy dinner at the mall tonight.

Well, hope to edit all my previous post to make it readable but looking back at it it looks daunting.

Hope all will be good for another year. I hope for another trip and we are all exicited how the house will look like when it is done.

Ciao!

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Welcome to the wild side

Aunt Ting brought up something to mum the other day and it was about how Liam and Kenzo compares to his friend’s kid, that just sits around and were just making small, slow movements, not even noisy and can stay put in one place for a long time.

I still remember when Kenzo was just about 2 years old and we were in SnR I put him in the grocery cart and beside me is a guy who also did the same to his boy. After just about 5 minutes Kenzo started to protest and demanded to be brought down from the trolley, so naturally I would have to let him down and just follow him as he explore the whole store. While as I walked around, following kenzo I can still see the guy with his kid still on the cart. They walked around, peacefully shopping while I had to deal with Kenzo’s activities.

Laim is a bit tamer than Kenzo but still very hyper compared to other kids. Both of them are really hyper, kinda aggressive, very physical, loud and both are strong willed.

I really don’t  know what makes them like this and in a way I hope them to be milder because taking care of them is getting hard and a bit stressful.

But they are still wonderful (I am biased) and still thankful for having them… I am just hoping them to be less violent.. I still like them though… it is just that they are a bit on the naughty side… hopefully they can swap to the other cuter side for a change.. maybe even just a week, please.

 

 

 

 

 

Real Estate

Later today we will finalize the purchase of the lot of our future home, not really the final step but today will be the day where we can officially say that the lot is ours, the next step will be the finalizing the release of the loan/mortgage.

I really hate the deal with the seller and her brokers but the opportunity to get a lawn is too much to let go. And the only reason why I am still patient in dealing with the seller is because of that tiny piece of Lawn that I really love to have.

I am planning to have a  lawn big enough for us to play football, make a mini putting green, shoot Nerf, play catch baseball etc. the Lawn is like a dream come true, I remember as a kid we played a lot on the bermuda grass spread out in Tio Diony  Talipapa house and those were happy days. Up to know I can still feel how the the grass makes tiny punctures on  my skin, the smell of it in the morning, and how the green color relaxes our eye.

These past few days, I have been day dreaming on what sport to play on our future lawn. I am now looking for putters, Irons and maybe have a small putting green. Surely we will play football and baseball. I am eyeing a mini soccer goal at SNR and some old putters at SOS in Festival Mall. And mere thinking about playing there excites me and yes that is why I am putting up to the spoiled brat of a seller we got.

Nerf shooting games will be a thing to do too, I also saw a trampoline  and a big play house at Landers QC. Right now I am making mental notes on what to put on the lawn and what to do there and I know it will be fun for the little boys.

In Manila very few houses has lawn and only the very rich  will keep an area open to be used as lawns. Because Manila is very densed it is seldom for people to waste a property and kept it idle just to grow grass. I went against the flow and  decided to just  have a small house and use the extra space as lawn for the kiddos to play on.

Lawns are (next to disneyland) are one of the happiest places on earth. When we  visited California one of the unforgettable things me and Kenzo did was play, dive on the grassy lawns of the play grounds and  that is  what I want them experience here when we are not in the US. Surely the lawn will give them a  happy area, a play ground, a place for us adults to make backyard barbies (barbeques) and I know most of our happy memories will be made on top on those nice, green bermuda grass.

 

 

 

 

 

The Punisher

Du30 is nicknamed the punisher and now I am that at home. Lately, I see Kenzo misbehaving badly inside and outside our home. Before it is just his tantrums but now he sees Liam’s tantrums and now copying it. SO, he got a sort of a  combo tantrums for us to bear.

I really do want to go this route of punishing Kenzo but it looks like the western way of talking, reasoning with him like an adult is not really working and now I have to shift gears and try a harder route.

With Liam’s tantrums, we were able to handled it better because of what we learned from Kenzo, we now dont easily give-in to Liam’s demand, phew.

Now Kenzo’s attitude is getting harder for us to handle, it is difficult to handle Liam and will have to now also deal with Kenzo and add some tantrums to the mix, some dangerous physical play and bawling to the side  and we now got a day in hell, almost.

Lately, I ahve been trying a different way to stop Kenzo’s attitude and tries to punish him by staying with me in the room or locking him out of our room. It is kinda tough but what else do I do? I had tried a softer approach for many years but obviously it has not improved our situation. I hate to do this, I just prefer to wish that they both just acted with less fighting and to behave peacefully. But Kids are kids, their world is not like ours and they still have to learn how to deal with their emotions and how to handle themselves in public.

It is now a time for tough love or else I would not be able to succeed in making them, particularly kenzo, disciplined kids.

 

 

 

When a nerd fights back

Liam can look like a sweet boy but underneath is his hard nosed self. There are times when Kenzo will try to get his way, take his toys, overpowering Liam but when push comes to shove Liam has this fight in him that scares us.

Though he has no match to Kenzo’s strength, althletic ability and coyness Liam will stand his ground with his frightful tenacity. When he fights back it can end with  serious pain like throwing a mobile Phone to Kenzo, biting his limbs, hitting with an Ipad, smashing empty baby bottles to his Kuya, it is scary.

He rarely starts a fight, maybe because he his still a baby or maybe he is really a nice boy inside but when he can no longer tolerate then we start to get worried.

Every  parents would want to have behave and cooperating kids but what we have are two competitive ones and both seeking attention mostly at the same time. Really hoping all will be good, perhaps like those siblings they show on TV.

 

 

Sunshine

liam 1

 

Sunny and happy. That is the first thing you will notice in Liam, he is just a happy one. When he woke up and he saw us the first thing he will do is welcome us with a smile as if he was thankful that we were there.

Most of the time when he hugged, you can somehow feel the warmth because on how he lay his head on your shoulder. He has that magical playfulness and sweetness that capture most of the people that sees him..

I know, I am biased to Liam (and Kenzo) but I think he is adorable and people often compliment him/us about how cute he is.

One other good thing about him is how he clean up his  bed (sometimes his toys too ) after using it. It is automatic to him that when he wakes up he will carry the pillows and put them on top of each other. He also has this habit of returning  found stuff to the owner(s). If he sees my phone anywhere when I am not using it or  not being charged he will pick it up and return it. Almost anything that is lying around anywhere he will picked it up and give, may it be books, pens, clippers etc.

But do not be fooled by his cuddly personality because when he gets mad to his brother he really can fight back. During the the time I have to reprimand him, he seems unshaken and unafraid. he has this strength and bravery that hides underneath his cotton-candy like personality.

 

 

 

 

Menopause?

Lately, or the past few months, I noticed mum is at her menopause phase or maybe it is stress from what happened to momsie,  I don’t know but my wild guess it is menopausal.

Usually the house is mixed with occasional rough and scary tumble by the kids, a few mess here and there, a scratch, a loud wail. but when mum is here very seldom do we get peace. A simple chore will have some loud complaints with it, a missing bottle of lotion will be like missing a box of diamonds, an under-cooked cabbage, chicken etc can be like she was served a poison.

But that is not all, she complained of humidity even the weather is relatively cool. Even when the AC is on (though at about 25 degrees) she will complain as if she is being baked in an oven.

Truth is, there are no checklist on how to deal with menopausal women. It is just to be patient and kill yourself if you run out of it. Right now, I find all to be funny but in a few weeks it wont be that funny anymore.

Life is a bit on the tougher side now and it looks like it is about to go worst, good thing I still can laugh all the hate out plus I have a small room I can escape to when things got too loud… so far so good, at least.

 

 

 

 

School ‘baon’ Li and Ken

I have a plan which is not (just like most of my plans) ordinarily done by other parents. I believe it would serve Liam and Kenzo if  their school allowances ( baon) is based on their grades. If you have low grades you will get lower allowance and high grades will get you more.

I know that this plan will best suit them when the time comes to face the real world, where lazy people are not compensated for loitering and daydreaming is not a career. I think it is also an incentive for them to achieve, rather than give them the equal school allowance and  perks whether  they do or not do their school work.

Some will criticize this for setting the plan on material things, but is it not the adult world, which eventually they have to face, works on the same materialistic principles? Is it not  those who label others as materialistic are the ones who are also as greedy as the people they label as such? But anyway that’ll be for another blog post.

Going back, like in real life those who work harder will get more is how the world turns and my plan sit on that thought. I think this plan will serve its purpose not to give incentives ( aka free lunch ) to laziness and it will teach them the value of working harder for stuff they want.

 

US / Bay Area trip III

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Our last sunday was spent travelling to Napa Valley and we had our lunch in a fancy resto. It was a long drive and we were a bit tired from that trip, sadly  the  weather too did not cooperate as it was warm and humid.

The cool thing in Napa was the Castles we went to and of course the fancy restaurant Culinary Institute of America. I ordered a chicken burger, sandwich with biscuits instead of buns. In few times, me and Kenzo was able to race around the wide grass areas there and that was always fun.

The last weekdays was spent between Menlo, Playground, More Shopping and San Lorenzo plus some more Shopping. I also took advantage of our last few days by stuffing myself with KFC at Mountain View, which I think was the taste of the KFCs I used to eat when I was a kid.

I think what Kenzo wont forget was the playground hopping we did around Silicon Valley. It was pure fun and me being a dad it is one of the many things I am happy to do with Kenzo, sadly there are not many play areas here in PH. We  played  football, frisbee, tag etc… we were joined by Eric, Sam and Susie.  It was really fun and I enjoyed every part of it.

Kenzo left for San Lorenzo thursday night (after our picnic and play  in Atherton ). Kenzo and his mum was picked up by Rhea and that time when they were about to leave was really tough. Primarily, the last 3 days was spent playing with Sam, Eric and I. He really had a great time and when it was time to leave Menlo park Kenzo was very sad. He was really crying and would want to stay and play more. The saddest part was when he said goodbye and thank you to everyone and seeing him leave was painful. I knew I can never go back to the US and look at the playground again without Kenzo, it will be just too painful, I think his laughter, voices are still echoing  in my memory.

So I stayed with Susie for another day and on the next day I planned to pick up Kenzo (friday) so we can again play in the playground for 1  one more day but the whole morning and midday was wet, so  I ended up alone at Gilbert Ave and waited for Sam and Eric to get me afetr school and work.  At dinner time we wete at another fancy restaurant in Palo Alto  the Il Fornio to enjoy  afancy Italian dinner, right after they brought me to San Lorenzo at around 930 pm and saw them for the last time.

The last friday night was again a blast for Kenzo as his cousins were all there especailly Princess and his most favorite Jack. They gambol, hop, jump, run endlessly until after 12mn. It was indeed a perfect night to end Kenzo;s happy trip. And when all the kids were about to go home Kenzo cried a bit.

At San Lorenzo there was a bit of a party and the last hurrah I had when Chris and Reggie brought me to Gerry’s Grill in Union City. It was a melting pot of pinoys and fil-ams. We had beer and enjoy some music and chit-chats and that capped my last night.

Saturday, our last day, was another attempt to do more shopping. We went to nearby mall Bayfair in East Bay, San lorenzo just right after it opened.  We bought a few stuff and rode Uber on our way back.

The remaining hours from 1pm  to 6 pm was spent packing, weighing our boxes, fixing stuff and making our last check before we fly out.

At around 730 we started to get ready, haul our bags to the cars, say our goodbyes and thank yous. That was our last night and the end of  a great, great trip.

Hopefully, I can go back a few more times but from the looks of it I probably will not in the neat future or maybe never. But my trip to US was all have been great, some are tough because I am alone but overall it was surely best time of my life was spent there.

Of all my trips several to Australia (SYD, BNE, VIC) and a lot of times in SFO, NEV, AZ, ORE etc.. the last one is probably the best because we were almost complete and we were with Kenzo (too bad Liam is still a baby) .

I wished we can also do this again and maybe with Liam next time, I am kinda doubtful, i feel, but if not with me at least  mum can bring them

 

 

 

 

Hope

I was told that Kenzo debated with his Aunt Ting and he insisted his momsie ain’t going to get well anymore and when asked how he got that idea Kenzo pointed at me.

Yes, I must confess, I told him that. That was when we were about to visit momsie and just to set Kenzo’s expectations on what he is going to see and what momsie current state was. I told him that she is very, very sick and to see momsie well and doing stuff with him that they previously did together will not happen anymore, never. I guess, I am just being to realistic on my assumptions and did not bother to sugar coat it with fairy tales. I am often honest to Kenzo and I would want to talk to him like an adult and that assumption that momsie is ain’t well is an example of those convos.

But really, momsie is not well and will never be. No one can deny that it is all going downhill.  And this got me thinking when do the love ones decide that it is over? That all the expenses is for naught.That we are just burning all our cash for nothing. That all our life saving will just be handed over to the doctors, therapists, hospitals and drugstores. I think ending up losing the battle and quite broke is a double blackeye, not considering the stress and the tension we carry everyday due to it. But really this is an emotional decision and not a logical one. Love, I think, will mostly prevail over cost and realities.

We all want momsie well  and hoped that all of the suffering she has now did not happen but, truth be told, she might not recover well from it. Maybe in time he can say a few words again, maybe a “hello” and “bye bye” or walk 5 steps or lift 2 fingers from her right hand. Sadly but I think that is around about it. Based on her current state maybe we are just waiting for the second or third strike of another stroke and that is it. We are delaying the inevitable and just waiting for that next hit. It is not being pessimistic but based on the damaged her body is in now, looks like it is going to be close to impossible that she can be back.

But fortunately I am not God. I really don’t know and just basing my guess on probabilities…  and hopefully I am wrong.

 

 

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