everyday with my son

Small stories of how it all went along

Archive for the tag “dada”

Another year

Another year has passed that add another year to this blog. I started this when Kenzo is about a year and a half old and now he is to turn 7 by Oct and now we have Liam along with us.

Currently I am with Kenzo downstairs.  He is eating some snacks and watching Ryan Toy Review on youtube while Liam is upstairs taking a nap.

BTW, today is mum’s birthday and I think there would be some fancy dinner at the mall tonight.

Well, hope to edit all my previous post to make it readable but looking back at it it looks daunting.

Hope all will be good for another year. I hope for another trip and we are all exicited how the house will look like when it is done.

Ciao!

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Celeb

Liam has been getting quite an attention in the mall. At first I cannot beleive it or perhaps a fluke but it seems like almost everyt ime these past few days strangers are approaching Liam and even would take his picture.

They say he is so cute, handsome etc. One thing about Liam is he is very approachable and warm to people. He likes the attention and welcoming strangers is part of him.

I posted it before that the world is made for friendly people. School, work, friendships etc are easy for the outgoing and fortunaely that is what Liam is.

Really hope that he will be this way till he gets old, with that warm glow in his face and a sincere nice smile to partner it with.

De Ja Vu

And we are starting to get the ‘Kenzo’ feel once again with Liam, which we first thought Liam will be a tamer version of his brother but these past few months we were slowly uncovering his ROWDY personality.

Like his brother he gambol, skip and hop around the room. He will climb high chairs and jump on top of the bed. He is about doin’ what Kenzo did before.

I spent a few hours taking care of him yesterday and I now realized how handful he had become. He is getting stronger and faster as week passed and his activity becoming a bit on the danger side. Just like before, we are now scared of him getting into a serious accident or crashing into something and breaking it.

We are now faced with the truth that we have two very active boys. They are almost a copy of the other (with a few differneces) and in a way, somehow, silently and slowly it is scaring us.

Kenzo’s 5th

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After about 2 weeks from Liam’s party we celebrated kenzo’s 5th and it was just an ordinary celebration at school and a simple Chinese food dinner at home. Nothing really monumental happened yesterday but maybe a bit of a tragedy when our giveways for his classmates got swapped with his Aunt Ting’s gift. We accidentally brought the wrong gifts.  I had to race back and try to get back to his school before the class ended but I was not successful. Anyway, there would still be today for teachers to give all out. But other than that it was just a simple day but for Kenzo it was great as he got a lot of toys from school and his Aunts and everybody else.

his brithday at school is a leap of improvement from last year, where he sulked and would not want to celebrate it. He kinda battled his social anxiety to become a more socially adapted boy. It is fun to see him improved this way, fact is, when we got there me and mum was wacthimg his reaction to the party and we are happy that he handled it with flying colors.

Just like that it is 5 years. We got a lot of bumps in the road, especially on how to discipline him and how to make him taper his active and hyper ways. But overall, it is still good (not excellent) that he is Kenzo with his hyper, emotional, wild, nice and magical him.

Picky eater

kenzo still has not outgrown his milk and have not ate anything really considered real food. He often feast on junk food and sweets, good thing we have taught him how to brush his teeth often that is why he still has a good set, but some are starting to have cavities.

He loves Pancakes ( he call them Tubby toast as it looks like the telletubbies’ food), vienna sausage, Pan De Sal, but other than those it is all junk food.

Now Liam is learning how to eat mashed veggies, Kenzo is now in a way forced to compete and also would share Liam’s food. So, as we start Liam on solid foods Kenzo is starting too.

Just this morning, We spread Nuttela on his bread and since he dont know Nutella yet, he obviously refused and just want his Pan De Sal. Then we made an act of making a Nutella sandwich for Liam, and him sensing this would give Liam an upper hand in the eating race he agreed to try and loved it.

We are just about around the starting line on this race to make him eat real food. We envy other parents that make their kids eat but what we can we do, we got the most picky of all. But the nice thing now is we are slowly moving in the right direction, though too late and a bit of a crawl, and hopefully it’ll stay that way.

Two kids

Having two kids is a lot different than having one, other than the usual difficulties of more expense, additional work etc, the one other thing that we have to learn by having kids is how to decide on who will take the larger share of our attention. Right now, it is not yet much of an issue as Liam is too small to compete but in about a year time I know we are up to face a competition.

Right now, we often observed that Kenzo is often wanting to get all the spotlight away from Liam. He wants all the glorious applause to be on him, which of course Liam cannot fight for yet.

Lately, If Kenzo would see Liam playing with his baby’s toys he would always get it and tell him to share; but when he is the one playing with his he wont give Liam a minute to play with it.

Eating is also a time for Kenzo to compete, ever since kenzo is a picky eater and would not really try most food unless it is covered with chocolate. Now Liam is starting to eat and he notice that Liam is getting an audience for it. And As any big brother would do he would want to eat Liam’s food too, in fact he almost solely ate Liam’s crackers and shared his Gerber occasionally.

Now the quandary is, how to balance praises, attention to them; balancing anything is difficult and I am sure this one will be no exception.

Liam and Kenzo has two different personality and in fact, quite opposite they have good points and bad, just like all of us… but really how can we balance the hugs, care and love equally to them? I guess it is not possible but we will just try our best.

Henry Hugglemonster

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This morning I was watching Henry Hugglemonster with Liam and Kenzo, and never thought that momment will be sort of a epiphany moment for me. Really life can deal us with crazy curveballs and a tap on our noggin also in a similar, crazy way.

I consider myself to be a bit on the side of worry, I kinda tend to overthink as finding the ups and downs, the nooks and crannies, corners and angles in almost everything is normal and easy for me. My mind can swoop to all the possiblities good and bad, happy and sad, scary and mad etc.. ( sorry for the extended rhyme and explanation) in almost an istant and those thoughts make me worry. Unlike, others who deal with just the positive (even it has no chance of happening) and scratch the negatives, I sadly deal with all of the possibilities.

I refused to be labeled as a pessismist but rather a realist. I tend to compute the probabilities, risks, benefits of a situation more than blindly choose optimism or pessimism. I rather get the facts and compute the possibilities, And I can do that in one instant snap.

So what does a cartoon about a Hugglemonster have anything to do with all of these? In the middle of the show the mom Hugglemonster approached Henry, ( the start of the show) who is in a somber mood, and told him that “we will find a way”. And yes, instantly, I figured that I can always deal with negatives and rather than get defeated by it I will just find a way.

Now I have a little cute mantra of finding a way, I plan to also use that and make it useful for Kenzo and Liam. And even life serve us with lemons we just have to find a way around, under and above it—in my best Hugglemonster way.

Nightmares

The other night Kenzo got a really bad nightmare, He woke me up by climbing to my bed, very early maybe 2am. I asked why but he is just silent, no trembling or crying involved, but he just hide is face under a pillow.

I went down to check what is on their room and even asked mum what could it be. But my investigation resulted to nothing. When I went back to him he just asked me to keep his Ipad. he dont want to stay in his room with his Ipad. So that he’ll go back to his room, I took the Ipad and slowly led him back to sleep to their room.

The next day we found out that he watched something on Youtube that Optimus Prime’s eye was gouged out by Megatron, that left the transformers hero without an eye.

To him it was a real, as if he really saw it on youtube not knowing that he just saw that video on his dream. I even checked the history of his youtube and saw nothing about what he is telling us.

For a couple of days he would never touch or even stay in the same room with his beloved Ipad. If he accidentally see it, he will push back and scamper away. he even requested me to delete Youtube and tell anyone who how he got scared of the video he saw.

after about 4 days he is back playing with his Ipad. After explaining to him that what he saw was not real but was just a dream and we also bought a new Ipad casing (cheap, knockoffs version) and change some of the themes, wallpaper, lock screen etc. to make it look like it is a new Ipad.

Nightmares that sometimes they can be brutally realistic, must be really painful for young kids, as they are not too aware what a nightmares are, cannot blame them we as adults would sometimes awake up, for a few seconds, would check if what we experienced was real or just a fantasy from our active mind.

The Playground

We child-safe our homes, buy all those gadgets and safety stuff to protect our kids. But one place that we cannot really protect our kids is in the playground, unless of course we decide to be on guard there all the time. Playgrounds has a mix of angels and bullies, I wanted to let Kenzo deal with its issues when playing with other kids in a public playground but half of me want to keep him safe.

The other day, Kenzo was in this small playground in Evia and since he likes red he naturally would choose to ride on the red rocking horse but sadly another kid who was there before us also likes red.

Since Kenzo is stronger and faster he gets to it faster and tries to hold on it when the other kid is near and leave it to play with other stuff when he knows the kid cannot reach it and whenever he tries Kenzo will make a dash to get there first.

On Kenzo’s part all is just play and it is just a normal kid instinct to protect his toys. The trouble began when the other kid is very upset for always not getting a chance. I can see him get mad and balled his fist. He is smaller than Kenzo but I know he is older by at least 1-2 years. Kenzo is just a big boy. I know Kenzo is a lot stronger and can hurt the other kid if it will escalet to a fight, but I am still afraid of the worst that can happen if I just kept on watching.

Half of me want to let him handle the violence the other kid is showing (balled fist, snarl and tiger look) but half of me is worried. I let this pass for a minute and passively watch and step in by calling out the other kid not to fight. Then he left and all went to normal but when kenzo jumped down from the toy and made a wild sprint after he saw the other kid tries to get to it, Kenzo bein’ really fast got there first. Bein’ late again for maybe the fourth time the other kid is flaming with madness this time as he again fell short in getting on the red toy. This time I had to step-in and control the situation I really talked to him and told him that there are other toys that he can use ( i said it nicely as possible, but I started with a stern voice and mellowed it as I went). He reasoned that he likes red too, i told him the other toys have red colors too (though not mostly red). With a stern voice I said NO FIGHTING and protected Kenzo by being there.

Of course, Kenzo was safe on that day because I handled the issue for him. But what will happen on days that I am not there? Will he know how to handle it? if not, when will he learn?

On the way home, I rehashed what had happened and told him not to be violent and hit kids, like the other kid plans to do, but I also told him to hit back if someone hits him, I guess I dont want him to be bullied but also dont want him to be a bully.

Playground are places where we can let let our kids enjoy and have active fun but underneath it lurks a bit of a danger and violence. Somehow, somewhere our kids will have to learn to settle this on their own and without the parents to protect them. There will be days that they will be defeated and some will be victories, and these are lesson they need to learn as they wade thru life.

Playmates

Aside from his cousins, which he just see when there is an occassion, he has a playmate named Harry, a neighbor, 2 years older than him. He dont have much options as other kids are too old and big or too young, in harry he found the perfect mix to hang with.

Most afternoon If he hears Harry’s voice or bike outside he would hurriedly ask to go out and immediately scamper out the door. This is a very enjoyable momment for him, as all playtime for any kids. It is during this time that you can genuinely see him enjoying his play. Normally, he just play with adults like us, his tita, lola and yaya. but playing with kids his age provides him an outlet for his boundless energy, other than the physical benefits of play, he will also begin to understand the importance of friendships.

But yesterday just like in many previous days, when he went out in front of the house hoping and waiting for Harry to go out and play with him. After a few momments a group of big kids knocked on harry’s house and called harry to play with them. Harry answered the door and saw him, Kenzo’s face lit up when he saw his only playmate but instead of playing with him Harry went with the other kids and not him. Harry just told him, “I will be back”. from inside the house I can see his disappointment as he is again left alone without a playmate. This is actually the first time that he was left out, all the time his bestfriend will prefer to play with him than others, but unfortunately not this afternoon.

Kenzo stayed outside bringing his bike, scooter with all hope that Harry will soon come back to play with him. But after a lot of minutes he is still alone, then harry and the group of bigger kids came, I can hear him laugh again but that happiness did not last as harry and the other kids left again after just a cuple of minutes.

In most of this time I am just inside the house and I am just listening and passively observing him. I dont want to rescue him by giving him a new toy or bringing him to the mall, as I want him to learn on how to deal with this frustration. I honestly cannot stand to see him dejected and alone, I just stayed inside hidden and not watching him. I even thought about going upstairs and watched TV, totally isolating myself than see him wallow in his pain this way.

Seeing your kid wanting to play but his only playmate prefer to do other stuff is gripping for me, I am sure other parents would feel the same way. This momment is a learning experience for me as much as Kenzo’s, it brought me back when I was a kid and how I choose those who we play with and those who are not part of the ‘circle’. I remember as a kid (because I am 2-3 years older, I once get to be the leader) I have a power to exclude and include playmates, usually bratty, spoiled ones are excluded. I also remember is some occassion where I see other kids happily playing and really wanting to join.

So kenzo waited and waited, maybe for about 45 minutes already, around this time I asked him to walk and go where other kids are playing. He reasoned that Harry will be back. I said, he might not play with him and not be back. He gotta look for other kids to play with or go to harry’s group and hopefully they will asked him to join. After a few convincing, he went, as I tried to watch him go and observe what will happen. The playarea is a few meters away and I can barely see Kenzo, I can just see that no one is really minding him as others dont really know him. It is his first time to reach out to others. Then after a few moments I can see him walk back the house sad and realizing that he dont have a playmate—and this is a very sad part for me. It is surely one of the worst feeling there is, I can feel his frustration and defeat and it is really very tough and probably harder for me than to him. His strides are heavy and head low, I can almost feel him ask “Why dont anyone play with me?”

By this time it is getting dark, I asked him to go inside and told him the truth that Harry ain’t comin’ back, then he cried and wail. I tried to reassure him but it is all for naught, as his young mind still cannot quite grasp the whole thing.

Once inside we talked for a few moments, pep-talked him about what happened. I tried to cheer him up but I myself need a cheering up as I feel very sad and surely sadder than him. Then lo and behold Harry entered our open door and immediately played with him. Then I can see him smile again and hear is sweet laughter. I left him with harry and let him enjoy his momment with his bestpal.

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UPDATE: And just about a week after the sad episode above, Kenzo got new friends to play with. It came quite as an accident and I was not even there when it happened ( I went out to buy milk of Liam), I just saw him in the middle of play.

Now it is a bit different, unlike before he only play with Harry but now he can join others in a game.

Kenzo loves action ( kinda violent variety ) games using guns and sword, goodthing for him other kids decided to play war games and since he has an arsenal of swords, laser guns and rifles he got to join, he suddenly was welcomed by other kids because of it.

He still tag along with Harry and probably will not be playing with others if he is not there, he is his ticket to be able to hang out with his new ‘playmates’.

It was a fun game of guns and sword fights. It was an escalated war between two group of kids. They gambol around, hide, shoot and pretended to kill each other. While I would wannna watch, I choose to stay inside and so I can let him learn to interact on his own, learn and have fun without me hovering around.

Kenzo is the youngest and other kids who lead the group maybe is around 10-12 years old, while he is only 4, the problem I am quite sacred about is other kids can take advantage of him by getting his toys (just what I used to do with others when I was young, I borrow/steal toys). I know there is a chance that one may be tempted to borrow his toy and not give it back, since he is too young to protest or even take note who he lend his toys to. So, what I have been doing now is just let Kenzo bring out cheap toys and keep the expensive and hard to find ones inside.

Overall, It is a welcome change that he gets to spread his wings and hopefully this will lead him to be socialable, friendly, and enjoy the goodness of friends.

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