everyday with my son

Small stories of how it all went along

Spoiled B.

After their US trip, mostly mum mentioned to me was how Kenzo threw tantrums and became very uncontrollable. He cried over a little disagreement, showed disdain when things did not go his way, quite aggressive to other kids etc..

His mum showed all the fatigue and the effects of what I had been trying to warn to her about many times before,  that she was doing her parenting wrong, but like many of what I said it fell on deaf ears.

One thing that I hammered to her before was from Tiger Mom Amy Chua who said something like ” Our Job as parents is not to be liked by our children… but to teach them…”  As parents we wanted our kids to have all things they want, do all the things they enjoy etc.. not knowing that we are already hurting them by making them weak, entitled, lazy. Our instinct is to pamper them rather than teach them, we choose short term gains than long term results. We wanted them to be happy now and not knowing that as adults they will turn out to be lazy, entitled, depressed, unadjusted etc.

Now Kenzo turned into a bit of monster, created by being spoiled by his mum’s way and now she was giving up and showing her frustration on Kenzo, which in fact a problem she created.

I remember when we started our house construction, she wanted just her  plan and then it went over the budget and after losing  P60,000 then she came to me and  asked me for a way out, while when I offered help prior to spending the money (which just like in many things) was dismissed as a nuisance.  Now after burning the money I am all of a sudden a bright spot to offer help. By the way, our house project is about to start and she was back in planning it and I try to warn her about things, but I am again waived off. I think she is building our house like most that goes over the budget. She is starting the build from the top, she is building starting from the expensive fixtures, locks, lighting, bathroom, finishes etc while not concentrating on the basic first before moving up. Ex: she is shopping for the best toilets but not making sure that we will get strong and consistent water first.  Our water supply here is close to African desert level pressure is weak and that is if we are lucky, sometimes we don’t get any.

Now I am asked (again) for help, “when the shit hits the fan”, I am now asked to look for a fix. It is frustrating  to be set aside, dismissed and when things go bad I am now all of the sudden important and pulled in to clean up.   I hated it and I honestly hated doing it but sadly I am in the same sinking boat and hardly got no choice.


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