For several months now I have been taking Zolodin ( Sertraline ) as prescribed to me, it did make me feel quite OK but more or less am I still the same. The doctor told me that I have also give myself a boost, to keep myself active, to have a goal, to have a reason to go on. But that in itself is hard, if I will set a goal for myself I want it grand and challenging otherwise I will not be happy about it. I have a few in mind like entering Law school but that is expensive and long… but right now that is what is challenging to me that I might want to take up but reality of it I am not sure, as I am already old to go back to it and I might end up just wasting money.
So the search for a challenge continues. Right now what really keeps me going is just reading endless books currently I am reading memoir of JP Enrile and world history is my new favorite topic. Life is boring, slow as I am not on anything that will “wake me up”.
I also have alprozolam as back up for social anxiety, I have not really taken it except for a tablet as there is no need, scared to be addicted to it and it make me sleepy.
So there, the battle is still ‘on” and hopefully soon I will raise my white flag and get out of the race and quit… maybe.