everyday with my son

Small stories of how it all went along

Archive for the month “September, 2016”

Wild, Wild West

A conflict ensued this morning, and the reason was nothing new it is the same scenario but just on a different day.

It all started with  Kenzo’s school work and mum’s participation with it.

What I am tried to say: As parents you need to really take part in your child’s education and I don’t mean just paying tuition fees or buying new shoes and bags. What I meant was, parents should be on top, below and in the middle of the kid’s school work, in other words, we should be updated and very aware and has an active part in it.

I read bout an experiment made by Dan Ariely where they asked people to do puzzles and to be submitted to a proctor afterwards. Now, there are two situations 1. after receiving the papers the proctor without looking will shred it and 2 the proctor will look at it and file it properly. They found out that when learned that their papers and asnwers were checked and filed they put more work on it and when it is just shred and ignored they will not spend as much effort to solve it.

I just want mum to check Kenzo’s work and I said it will just take her 5 minutes to do that and streaming her TV shows would take longer.

What she understood: I am attacking her and her hobby. That it should be my sole job to teach Kenzo because I stayed at home. And that in our current situation, she is at a great disadvantage because of the responsibility of financially providing for everyone, including me. And that she was a fool to stay in such a life.

In most part, I agreed with her and that is the reason why I SHOULD GO. There is really no reason for me to stay as I am just a dead weight, a burden. I don’t have monopoly to good parenting ideas and basically insignificant and useless. I can die now and my absence will not be felt, maybe for a week they’ll weep but after that it’ll be normal.

I knew I am useless and I know that even before Kenzo was born, sadly my kids are now forced to have a dada like moi.

One day I have to go, I must go. I am a bad influence to my kids, an embarrassment, a dead weight.

So there,a simple lecture on helping kids to study ended with slapping of the truth that I am just a dirt bag. .. but really I am… and cannot blame her for that.

*A late post, was posted as a page weeks ago, I just now noticed it and copied it to be a post.

 

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Liam’s 2nd

Yesterday was Liam’s 2nd birthday. The day started with Happy Birthday greetings from everybody in the house and the day went on just like any normal day afterwards.

The only not usual activity that happened was the play at the mall. I brought Kenzo and Liam to the mall and play in their pay-playground. It is a big airconditioned room with padded walls, carpeted floors, filled with non violent toys basically a very child-proofed playground, which is in all of  HELICOPTER PARENTs dream.

At dinner time, the next unusual activity happened which was his actual birthday celebration. It was a mini one and it is just his tita, aunt ting, geff and us. He got two gifts a Peppa Pig and Playmobil set. He was happy and showed off his hyper active self. But still even it was his birthday Kenzo can steal the spotlight and Liam a willing victim just wallow in the background.

We got quite a few good food from conti’s, KFC, Racks and the neighbor cake baker.

They day ended just like any day, he was on his jammies and watching vids on his Ipad.

Happy Birthday Li!

 

 

Welcome to the wild side

Aunt Ting brought up something to mum the other day and it was about how Liam and Kenzo compares to his friend’s kid, that just sits around and were just making small, slow movements, not even noisy and can stay put in one place for a long time.

I still remember when Kenzo was just about 2 years old and we were in SnR I put him in the grocery cart and beside me is a guy who also did the same to his boy. After just about 5 minutes Kenzo started to protest and demanded to be brought down from the trolley, so naturally I would have to let him down and just follow him as he explore the whole store. While as I walked around, following kenzo I can still see the guy with his kid still on the cart. They walked around, peacefully shopping while I had to deal with Kenzo’s activities.

Laim is a bit tamer than Kenzo but still very hyper compared to other kids. Both of them are really hyper, kinda aggressive, very physical, loud and both are strong willed.

I really don’t  know what makes them like this and in a way I hope them to be milder because taking care of them is getting hard and a bit stressful.

But they are still wonderful (I am biased) and still thankful for having them… I am just hoping them to be less violent.. I still like them though… it is just that they are a bit on the naughty side… hopefully they can swap to the other cuter side for a change.. maybe even just a week, please.

 

 

 

 

 

Real Estate

Later today we will finalize the purchase of the lot of our future home, not really the final step but today will be the day where we can officially say that the lot is ours, the next step will be the finalizing the release of the loan/mortgage.

I really hate the deal with the seller and her brokers but the opportunity to get a lawn is too much to let go. And the only reason why I am still patient in dealing with the seller is because of that tiny piece of Lawn that I really love to have.

I am planning to have a  lawn big enough for us to play football, make a mini putting green, shoot Nerf, play catch baseball etc. the Lawn is like a dream come true, I remember as a kid we played a lot on the bermuda grass spread out in Tio Diony  Talipapa house and those were happy days. Up to know I can still feel how the the grass makes tiny punctures on  my skin, the smell of it in the morning, and how the green color relaxes our eye.

These past few days, I have been day dreaming on what sport to play on our future lawn. I am now looking for putters, Irons and maybe have a small putting green. Surely we will play football and baseball. I am eyeing a mini soccer goal at SNR and some old putters at SOS in Festival Mall. And mere thinking about playing there excites me and yes that is why I am putting up to the spoiled brat of a seller we got.

Nerf shooting games will be a thing to do too, I also saw a trampoline  and a big play house at Landers QC. Right now I am making mental notes on what to put on the lawn and what to do there and I know it will be fun for the little boys.

In Manila very few houses has lawn and only the very rich  will keep an area open to be used as lawns. Because Manila is very densed it is seldom for people to waste a property and kept it idle just to grow grass. I went against the flow and  decided to just  have a small house and use the extra space as lawn for the kiddos to play on.

Lawns are (next to disneyland) are one of the happiest places on earth. When we  visited California one of the unforgettable things me and Kenzo did was play, dive on the grassy lawns of the play grounds and  that is  what I want them experience here when we are not in the US. Surely the lawn will give them a  happy area, a play ground, a place for us adults to make backyard barbies (barbeques) and I know most of our happy memories will be made on top on those nice, green bermuda grass.

 

 

 

 

 

The Punisher

Du30 is nicknamed the punisher and now I am that at home. Lately, I see Kenzo misbehaving badly inside and outside our home. Before it is just his tantrums but now he sees Liam’s tantrums and now copying it. SO, he got a sort of a  combo tantrums for us to bear.

I really do want to go this route of punishing Kenzo but it looks like the western way of talking, reasoning with him like an adult is not really working and now I have to shift gears and try a harder route.

With Liam’s tantrums, we were able to handled it better because of what we learned from Kenzo, we now dont easily give-in to Liam’s demand, phew.

Now Kenzo’s attitude is getting harder for us to handle, it is difficult to handle Liam and will have to now also deal with Kenzo and add some tantrums to the mix, some dangerous physical play and bawling to the side  and we now got a day in hell, almost.

Lately, I ahve been trying a different way to stop Kenzo’s attitude and tries to punish him by staying with me in the room or locking him out of our room. It is kinda tough but what else do I do? I had tried a softer approach for many years but obviously it has not improved our situation. I hate to do this, I just prefer to wish that they both just acted with less fighting and to behave peacefully. But Kids are kids, their world is not like ours and they still have to learn how to deal with their emotions and how to handle themselves in public.

It is now a time for tough love or else I would not be able to succeed in making them, particularly kenzo, disciplined kids.

 

 

 

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