everyday with my son

Small stories of how it all went along

Balancing act

I think I wrote it in this blog  before that balancing is a tough thing to do, sadly most of parenting two kids is about balancing. Things like gifts, rewards, compliments and even punishments has to be equal and fair. One should not get more than the other but in reality that never happens. What happened everyday are estimates of what is fair and depending on how bad or a good day it was.

If we give too much to Kenzo it will make him spoiled and Liam will feel unloved. Give too much to Liam and the effect will be reversed.

In the past few days we have been a bit hard on Kenzo. We reprimand him if he hurt his brother or his actions can possibly hurt Liam. We maintain control of the situation with threats of and actual punishments, scolding and very loud  nags from his mum. In our effort to make things easy and safe for Liam we sacrificed Kenzo’s fun. We are hoping that if kenzo learnt to share, stop doin or his flying kicks when around his baby brother,  just be a big brother and not a bully to Liam all will be good, unfortunately we are teaching this in a hard and possibly outdated way.

I personally feel one day this will have an effect on Kenzo hopefully not but the way all are escalating i think it would have one day. Those threats and punishments which happen everyday can be taxing and emotionally painful. I make him cry so that he will listen and follow, I will let him out of the room as his punishments for bad behavior while his mum will threaten him that he will be unloved, not be bought toys etc.

As his unacceptable actions happened everyday sometimes twice or thrice,  a few times just once and seldom never in a day, Kenzo get his dose of scolding about around that much too. It is sad to reflect that all had come down to this and our once loved kid is now in the middle to getting our wrath.


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