I had been quite hard on Kenzo this past few weeks and it was not a pretty sight. I would’ve hope for a different way and not resort to punishment but at this point I think we both need go thru this harsh phase.
Dishing out a punishment is a result of heavy stress from frustration and your wish for an order. Because we now juggle in taking care of two boys being frustrated can quickly happen many times in a day and will even repeat itself the next day, and on and on.
If we only have Kenzo, it is easy to be patient and stash his (bad) behaviors under the rug. But since we now got two and difficulties builds up then multiply that with a rushed morning schedule (or any schedule) will always equal to haggard and mad parents.
Before, I let Kenzo to reason as I find logic in his arguments but always allowing him to reason his way out a schedule or an instruction does make him a bratty young boy and as a parent I must not let that slide.
Goodside is, he likes to play with Liam but the downside is he is too strong and fast his bro. Just a one bump can send Liam to the ground, one hard hug can make him immobile for a few seconds, one little tap is like a slap to his brother, a slight pull is painful.
He needs to learn that his games can hurt Liam and he needs to be really careful, but all kids have a little self control they dont have that maturity yet. So this put us in a forced situation to decide on what would be the best to do and balance his being a kid and Liam bein’ safe.
Kenzo now needs to follow more instructions and orders than before. Though part of me preferred him to be independent and to think on his own but by just letting him do his thing or wait for him to decide is not a good thing at all times, as this can result to a habit of disobeying.
The punishment I gave him early this morning was to let him stay out our house, though I joined him outside, and not really locked him out alone. I forced him out by carrying him as he cried endlessly. We were outside for about 15 minutes and his wails can be heard meters away as he asked to be let in, his playmate who happens to passby even saw him crying.
After a few minutes of this, I asked him why he was being punished. I asked him to tell me the reasons, which is is not following mum and hurting Liam. I made him say it than me feeding the answer, as I previously had done. He stop crying right way when He got in and transformed to a nice boy that he really is. But I dont know how long this transformation will last, hopefully forever.
The punishment was a result when his mum asked him to do somethning and did not listen as he is watching Youtube. His mum got mad and scolded him that makes him throw a tantrum and accidentally kick Liam in the face.
It was a madhouse this morning, which I think is normal if his mum is here, and hopefully this punishment will teach him a good lesson to become a better kid.
Punishments is a tricky world. Experts say it can result to a low-self esteem but some say (from chinese parenting ) it makes a kid disciplined. I wish I can really say what will work for Kenzo and how this treatment will affect him. No parents want to scar their kids but none would want a bratty little devil too. I hope I am treading the right path, I wish, I pray.