everyday with my son

Small stories of how it all went along

Archive for the month “October, 2015”

ELMO

Babies progress in different ways and time. Now Liam is a year old & he still has not spoken much compared to kenzo when he was at his age. I think Kenzo spoke his first words was at about 9-10 months and if I remember it correctly among his first was “NO” and “MINE”—Obviously those words presets his personality.

I would like to think that the delay was caused by his love for his pacifiers. it is only this time that we start to wean him away form it, he only use it mostly at nightime and occasionally during the day. For 0-11months he has his pacifier on his mouth mostly during the day and maybe this somewhat contributed to his speech.

But the goodthing about it, he can understand. I can randomly ask him to pick a thing like shoes, phones, glasses etc and he mostly get it right. That tells me that he understood the words but is just not into articulating them.

But a month ago he spoke his first word, which is “DAA-DAA!” When He saw me or want to get my attention he can now call me. The next word he spoke was “BO” for ball, then ‘DU” for dog and next was “BU” for book.

His mum is patiently waitinng for his to call her but it is still not happening. Then one day he spoke another word “MO” for elmo of Sesame Street and what makes it funny was that he learned to say elmo’s name first than Mommy.

I dont know what his next word will be and also cannot wait when he will start to say complete sentences with logic, wit, sarcasm and humor.

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Whoa!

I woke up around midnight gasping for air for a bit. It is not something that can kill but I know there is something heavy on my chest. It is uncomfortable and I know right away there is something strange, it is new to me as this is the forst time I felt this. In the last couple of weeks everytime I would eat ‘deadly’ food like Liempo, Taba ng baboy in a sinigang, sisig, crispy pata.. my head will feel a bit heavy and a bit dizzy. Last night was a first, heaviness on my chest and the feeling of difficulty swallowing or the feeling of something is stuck in my throat. I thought going back to sleep would be hard but after a few hours of being awake, checking my twitter feeds on Aldub and overthinking what was happenning I got back to it and woke up at 630.

This morning though the sensation is still there I still continued my daily routine as if all were normal, as I plan to be nonchalant about it. When I was cleaning the house earlier (and even now as I am typing this blog post) I can still feel that shortness of breath and that something is stuck on my throat.

I am not worried about heart attack but I am scared as hell of a stroke. i prefer to be killed in one swipe than be partially killed and be a burden to everyone. I hope this can lead to immediate death than a slow and expensive death.

I would not consider myself as obese but I think I am about 10-20
lbs overweight. I have not been excercising because the sport I love (running) is now impossible due to my long time battle with ‘Plantar’. My diet is very unhealty and my routine is quite sedantary. I am sure all of this are leadng me to a fate that might come earlier than expected. I plan to be hush-hush about this and not get medical attention to fix it. let it run its course and if this will normally heal or will lead to death I dont care.

I am not afraid of death, in fact, my kinda welcome it. I think I have lived a full life and I already reached my peak physically(health, mental, appearance etc ) and all are now slowly going downwards. I had a fine life but not really something that can be called oustanding. Life is a long journey and I think that mine is about the end. I got nothing to look forward to now except milestones of Liam and Kenzo, a few nice Aldub episodes, a few travel back to US and AUS, a good coffee and a chit chat, a good book… overall If I can go now it is just fine with me. If this is nearing the end so be it.

I am not a perfect parent ( iam not even good) and I dont have the monoploy of good deeds so If ever I would leave this earth I dont think It would be much of a dent to Kenzo and Liam’s life. I am fine if I am around but they will still be fine without me. in other words, I am not that of a big deal.

Kenzo’s 5th

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After about 2 weeks from Liam’s party we celebrated kenzo’s 5th and it was just an ordinary celebration at school and a simple Chinese food dinner at home. Nothing really monumental happened yesterday but maybe a bit of a tragedy when our giveways for his classmates got swapped with his Aunt Ting’s gift. We accidentally brought the wrong gifts.  I had to race back and try to get back to his school before the class ended but I was not successful. Anyway, there would still be today for teachers to give all out. But other than that it was just a simple day but for Kenzo it was great as he got a lot of toys from school and his Aunts and everybody else.

his brithday at school is a leap of improvement from last year, where he sulked and would not want to celebrate it. He kinda battled his social anxiety to become a more socially adapted boy. It is fun to see him improved this way, fact is, when we got there me and mum was wacthimg his reaction to the party and we are happy that he handled it with flying colors.

Just like that it is 5 years. We got a lot of bumps in the road, especially on how to discipline him and how to make him taper his active and hyper ways. But overall, it is still good (not excellent) that he is Kenzo with his hyper, emotional, wild, nice and magical him.

Punishments

I had been quite hard on Kenzo this past few weeks and it was not a pretty sight. I would’ve hope for a different way and not resort to punishment but at this point I think we both need go thru this harsh phase.

Dishing out a punishment is a result of heavy stress from frustration and your wish for an order. Because we now juggle in taking care of two boys being frustrated can quickly happen many times in a day and will even repeat itself the next day, and on and on.

If we only have Kenzo, it is easy to be patient and stash his (bad) behaviors under the rug. But since we now got two and difficulties builds up then multiply that with a rushed morning schedule (or any schedule) will always equal to haggard and mad parents.

Before, I let Kenzo to reason as I find logic in his arguments but always allowing him to reason his way out a schedule or an instruction does make him a bratty young boy and as a parent I must not let that slide.

Goodside is, he likes to play with Liam but the downside is he is too strong and fast his bro. Just a one bump can send Liam to the ground, one hard hug can make him immobile for a few seconds, one little tap is like a slap to his brother, a slight pull is painful.

He needs to learn that his games can hurt Liam and he needs to be really careful, but all kids have a little self control they dont have that maturity yet. So this put us in a forced situation to decide on what would be the best to do and balance his being a kid and Liam bein’ safe.

Kenzo now needs to follow more instructions and orders than before. Though part of me preferred him to be independent and to think on his own but by just letting him do his thing or wait for him to decide is not a good thing at all times, as this can result to a habit of disobeying.

The punishment I gave him early this morning was to let him stay out our house, though I joined him outside, and not really locked him out alone. I forced him out by carrying him as he cried endlessly. We were outside for about 15 minutes and his wails can be heard meters away as he asked to be let in, his playmate who happens to passby even saw him crying.

After a few minutes of this, I asked him why he was being punished. I asked him to tell me the reasons, which is is not following mum and hurting Liam. I made him say it than me feeding the answer, as I previously had done. He stop crying right way when He got in and transformed to a nice boy that he really is. But I dont know how long this transformation will last, hopefully forever.

The punishment was a result when his mum asked him to do somethning and did not listen as he is watching Youtube. His mum got mad and scolded him that makes him throw a tantrum and accidentally kick Liam in the face.

It was a madhouse this morning, which I think is normal if his mum is here, and hopefully this punishment will teach him a good lesson to become a better kid.

Punishments is a tricky world. Experts say it can result to a low-self esteem but some say (from chinese parenting ) it makes a kid disciplined. I wish I can really say what will work for Kenzo and how this treatment will affect him. No parents want to scar their kids but none would want a bratty little devil too. I hope I am treading the right path, I wish, I pray.

Liam’s first

Finally. Whew! we were able to celebrate it without a hitch. It was fun but I preferred it to be done at Fun Ranch where kids can endlessly play right after eating, I think it’ll more memorable for them.

If I have my way I would choose a simple one, where kids can enjoy themselves and not quite what they often get in kid’s parties. The one we had was kinda fancy but just an ordinary children’s party where there were Buffet for adults and another set for kids, a magic show, a loud host that conducted the games and balloon design all over.

If I am the kid I be quite bored about it, maybe not sad but not too giddy,if the other option is to get a couple of hours jumping and running around in a big playhouse.

But that is just me, I dont get to decide, I am not part of the planning and my inputs are ward off as just trying to cut cost.

I got sick the day before so my help in organizing it was very minimal, plus Mum wants to micro manage all of it. I got exempted from worry and stress and I got there like a guest when all are fixed and dandy.

I just hated the part where we have to say a wish to Liam, as I am not too hung on that, because really I prefer to do it than wish about it. I find it too showbiz and trying to amused than being true. Doing that is just a speech filled of cliches and flowery words.

But after about 2 hours it was all finished, and we brought home a car full load of gifts, and I am quite happy that it is finally over.

Just like that, a year had passed. It was still a tough one as keeping up with two boys is really epic. There were issues with caregivers, cost, health and host of other little things. But overall it was still something to cheer about, as no really big, earth shaking issues happened to Liam on his first year… thanks all is fine and hopefully all will stay as pretty as it is now. 🙂

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