Somehow, I can feel that it is about to end. I can sense that the end is a bit near, about a left turn away and the road will end. I know, I milked the situation long enough and leaving is the only thing left to do. I have been a deadweight, deadwood and all other ‘dead’ things.
I really, really wanna stay longer, but why? What do I have to offer except for my delussional dreams and my colorful destruction of nice things about life. Really? Why do I have to stay?
I dont have the monopoly of good ideas, I dont have an excellent parenting skills, am not a champion of kindness and my personality is an interesting as a paperclip. The only thing I can offer is love and sadly, truth is, that is not enough.
Just this morning I realized, a father is not indispensible. It can be replaced, others can take my place and will do a better job than me. I may love my son more than anyone else (except his mum) but other than that I dont have anything to offer.
I hope am better but I am not.